The illusion of secrecy

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

The third of life’s great illusions says there are secrets. In reality, the universe is always watching and listening and every thought, every action, produces a reaction. For your dreams to be fully realized, a deep understanding of this illusion is needed.

Our dirty little secret – shit talking

During the filming of the Genie TV pilot in LA last year, there was a moment in the Ferrari on our way to a surprise wish grant that Ingrid and I were gifted a wonderful lesson. While driving, we proceeded to talk shit about a person on the production crew. Nothing serious, just slight annoyances we were having with the shoot up to that point. About 2 minutes into our rant we realized that the very person we were talking about could likely hear us. We still had our microphones on.

Truth is, I have met very few people that don’t shit talk at one time or another. Growing up, the big joke in our family was to ask people to beep their horn when they left to let us know that we could all start taking them. With Dad having 15 brothers and sisters and Mom 12, gossip was a major form of communication. And while it was mostly all done in good fun at the time, it has the potential to have very negative consequences for your life.

There are no secrets

Now, when I catch myself talking negatively I remember that there are no secrets. Just like that day with the production crew listening to our negative conversation, the universe is always watching and listening. If we think a thought enough, it will become reality. Luckily for all of us, we also have the free will to choose what you put in our minds and bodies.

The no shit talking challenge

An important step that transcends the illusion of secrecy is to give yourself a no shit talking challenge. I do it routinely. Challenging myself to not talk shit about anyone (that includes me) for 30 days. If I mess up, I’ll keep going. Hopefully initiating a habit.

But, it doesn’t stop here. After listening to an interview with Maya Angelou, I sometimes take it a step further. She wouldn’t allow toxic talk around her. At all. If someone was negative at a dinner party in her house she’d ask them to leave. Saying (paraphrasing here) “she didn’t want dirt in her curtains.” If you complained, she’d have no time for it. Saying you are making yourself a victim. Insisting you take your power back with positivity. Big words coming from someone that was raped by her mother’s boyfriend at 7 years old, refusing to speak for 5 years after.

Extreme? Yes. But, I feel justified. Toxins don’t ask for permission to enter your life and you needn’t ask for permission to choose positivity. If you feel so inclined, challenge yourself – Stop the shit talking. I’d love to hear what happens.

Tell the truth

Another way to see through the illusion of secrecy to begin telling the truth in all situations. This doesn’t being mean and it certainly doesn’t override your no shit talking challenge. It simply means being authentic. You may not realize it, but most of us put on many different masks dependant on the situation we find ourselves in. Practice being more consistent no matter what your environment. If someone asks you a question, give a straight answer. Tell the truth, even with the small stuff. And if you don’t have anything nice to say…you know the rest.

Truth is, none of us are perfect or have perfect lives. And never will. Something easily forgotten while scrolling through your newsfeed. Facebook (and most social media) does a great job of showing us at our shiny best. We project what we want others to see. But, it’s not the whole truth. No more than that drunk photo of you posted by a friend would be the whole truth. The truth is a collection of all stories and perceptions. The truth is something much deeper. The truth is a beautiful intertwined mosaic of so called “good” and “bad” moments. Let’s remember that before bringing anyone down. Most of all yourself.

Practice compassion

Listen to any major spiritual teacher’s definition of love and they will equate it to compassion and understanding. Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Instead of wasting your energy bringing someone down for doing or saying something your don’t agree with, why not use that same energy to bring someone up? Say a kind word, listen, help, and practice compassion. Listen to Thích Nhat Hanh’s words “The source of love is deep in us and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring that person joy.”

To see through the illusion of secrecy:

  • Remember, the universe is always watching and listening
  • Give yourself the no shit talking challenge
  • Tell the truth
  • Practice compassion

With love,


PS. I have a secret to share. While in Tulum Mexico this past May, after almost five years of writings with no specific objective, they began to almost effortlessly organize themselves into a book. Something I’ve called the The Tiny Book of Magic: A Genie’s Guide to a Dream Life. Upon my return to Canada, I felt compelled to reach out to Wayne Dyer’s editor of over 20 years to see if she’d be interested in editing it. To my surprise, she agreed to look at it. The first time she’s done so with any writer since Wayne’s passing.

Reminding me of yesterday’s lesson on giving and seeing past the illusion of force. For when you give your gifts to the world, the world gives right back. Following your passions, you are energized by simply being who you are. Who you have always been destined to be.

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